I Never Thought I’d be Catholic

Here’s the story of how Jesus in the Eucharist has changed my life❤️

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:01

Are you a faith-driven woman ready to transform your health and fitness, level up your habits, and steward everything that God has blessed you with? If so, welcome to the Refinery Movement Podcast, the place for Christian women in fitness or women ready to step into it who want to build strong, faith-based habits that honor God and inspire their families and communities. I'm your host, AJ Amrine, lifelong athlete, former WWE superstar and founder of the Refinery Movement. My passion is to help women integrate faith and fitness and to make the church healthy again. Here we'll dive into powerful strategies, biblical principles, and practical tips to help you crush your goals. We'll also talk about balancing training, nutrition, and family life because you can steward the temple and still enjoy freedom, fun, and connection. So grab your protein shake, get comfy, and let's step into today's episode with boldness, clarity, and intention. Let's get refined.

SPEAKER_01 0:58

Hey guys, welcome back to the podcast. I'm sure all you guys have guessed it by the title of the episode, but yes, I was confirmed into the Catholic Church this Easter season on Divine Mercy Sunday. I have loved Jesus my entire life, basically, and always went to Baptist churches, non-denominational, but this year, my Lent and Holy Week and Easter experience this year was like by far the closest I have ever been to God. It was truly so, so powerful. And I wanted to share my journey and experience with y'all because I had a lot of questions and I learned a lot. I never thought I was going to be someone who would end up being Catholic, but here I am. And I also want to make it clear that the goal of this podcast is to share about Jesus and simply share my story. I am not trying to be like, oh my gosh, everyone convert, although I am a proud Catholic now and I think that would be awesome. But I love all denominations that love Jesus and share the gospel. And I coach girls of all different denominations, and I believe in ecumenism. I have and will always have a deep love for my Protestant family. Um, ecumenism is the concept and principle that Christians who belong to different Christian denominations and theological traditions should work together to develop closer relationships among their churches and promote Christian unity. Like I said, I coach women of all different denominations, and I think it's important to share this conversion that I've had. So, okay, let's start at the very beginning. I was like a lot, not all, but I was like a lot of Protestants are, I feel like. Um I was freaked out how Catholics had all these statues. I thought that they prayed to Mary. The idea of the Pope terrified me. Like, who is this man who's in charge of everything? I thought that Catholics were crazy. I thought they had zero passion. Gosh, I God has just worked on my heart so much. And I also thought that they just memorized meaningless prayers and walked through the motions. But God, there's the words, but God. Whew! I was convicted. For those of y'all that don't know the main difference between Catholics and Protestants, it's that Catholics believe that Jesus is truly present in the Eucharist. You know how when we take communion, the bread and the wine, Catholics believe that that is actually Jesus performing a miracle, and he becomes truly present in the bread and wine. And the entire mass is centered around this. And Protestants, on the other hand, believe that it is just a symbol. And that's what I kind of did in church. My entire life was take communion. And I was told that it was a symbol of Jesus, and that was that. Well, my faith was strong. I kept reading my Bible, taking communion. I was great, I was good, but I felt that something was missing. And I was starving for something. Like I was hungry, like an actual craving, a spiritual craving. And as I was reading my Bible one day, I found myself in John 6, and it says this truly, truly, I say to you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you have no life in you. He who eats my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise him up at the last day. That's John 6, 53 through 54. And then it talks about how the people then disputed among themselves, saying, How can this man give us his flesh to eat? So, right? The the people were like, How no, how how does this happen? You know, they they didn't believe it right away. The disciples murmured, then Jesus reaffirms what he said. He's very firm on this. And this is also the last thing that he does, knowing that he will die a brutal death the very next day. I I feel like that's important. And here's some words from this book I was reading. Like, have you ever tried to get an obstinate child to take medication that you know will significantly help them? And did you know 42% of people who recover from a heart attack don't take their medication? And more than 50% don't comply with doctor instructions generally after recovering from a life-threatening heart attack. Fallen human nature is real and everywhere. We are not perfect. So it's no wonder that we refuse to receive the spiritual medication that God prescribes. Our resistance to the Eucharist is staggering. The definition of obstinate is stubbornly refusing. And sadly, this perfectly describes many people's relationships with the Eucharist. Like if you ask people to name the most significant moments in history, most people won't even get close. But the Last Supper is one that will be missing from most lists. And yet, if you remove it from human history, everything changes. The institution of the Eucharist on Holy Thursday, on that last supper, it changed everything. And the Eucharist continues to change everything. If we will but cooperate and collaborate with God. Here's something that St. John Viany said. I don't know if I'm saying his last name right, but there is nothing so great as the Eucharist. If God had something more precious, he would have given it to us. If you only, if you knew you only had one night left to live, what would you do tonight? You'd spend every moment possible with the people you love. You'd get your affairs in order spiritually, and you'd do whatever you could to ensure that your nearest and dearest knew beyond a shadow of doubt how much you love them. And the reality of death has that kind of effect. It clarifies, it makes our true priorities startlingly clear. When it comes to Jesus, we have a unique case of the most significant person to ever live, the source of salvation for all the world who knew exactly when and how he was going to die. We would be foolish not to look to the final days that he spent on earth for clarity about what Jesus values above all else. I also noticed in John 6 the word murmur, like when the people were murmuring, like, oh my gosh, that's you know, there's no way he could do that. It was the same Greek word used in the Old Testament when God provided manna. So this is wild. Listen to this. In the Gospel of John 6 41, when it says the Jews murmured about Jesus, the Greek word used is, I'm gonna butcher this, but gongizo. It's a G-O-N-G-Y-Z-O. It means to murmur, grumble, and this is the verb form. And there's also a related noun which is murmuring or grumbling, gongizmos. In the Septuagint, especially in places like Exodus and Numbers, where Israel complains in the wilderness, the same root word shows up. That same word used in John 6 is the same word used when the people doubted in the Old Testament. Israel murmuring against Moses and God in the wilderness. John is intentionally echoing the wilderness story. When the crowd in John 6 murmurs about Jesus being the bread of life, it is the same word used when Israel complained about manna, same heart posture, doubt, resistance, dissatisfaction with God's provision. So John's basically saying this generation is acting just like Israel in the wilderness. And Jesus repeatedly said this and corrected the disciples. And I thought, dang, if that really happens, like when the bread and wine are consecrated, it actually becomes Jesus? That would be a miracle. And yeah, that's hard as heck to believe because we don't see it. But isn't that what Christianity is? Who are we to say that God can't do that? Because the same God who performed those miracles in the Old Testament is the same God that we serve today. And if we truly believe in Jesus as the Son of God in the Holy Trinity, Father, Son, Holy Spirit, why would we limit him and say that he couldn't do something like that? And the disciples and church that Jesus left us continued to receive the Eucharist like Catholics do today for most of Christian history. So this is a point that I thought was wild that I didn't know until kind of recently in my life. So you have Christians, right? And a lot of people don't even know the history of Christianity. But, you know, Jesus is crucified and then uh comes back to the people and then goes ascends back into heaven, and then you have the church, right? That he provided us. And that church is the Catholic Church. And the word Catholic just means universal. And for most of Christian history, the Eucharist was understood and practiced like what Catholic Church teaches today. So, like the early church, the early Christians, you know, after Jesus ascended the first through the fourth century, the earliest Christians believed the Eucharist was not just symbolic. They believed it like the Catholic Church does. Leaders like Ignatius of Antioch, uh 107 AD, and Justin Martyr and Iranius all described the bread and wine as truly the body and blood of Christ and as something sacred, not just ordinary food, and received in a structured, reverent gathering, like what we'd recognize as liturgy. And this lines up closely with what the Catholic Church later formalized as the doctrine of real presence. And then you have 500 to 1500. And during this time, the church fully developed its theology. The term transubstantiation was defined as, you know, the bread and wine become Christ's body and blood and the substance and practices looked very Catholic and traditional. This was the early Christian church. Priest consecrates elements, ultra-centered worship, and there's deep reverence. There's kneeling, there's, you know, um, and then you have the Reformation shift, so the 1500s. This is where things diversify, and this is where things get fragmented. And the the reformers kind of disagreed. So you have Martin Luther, he still believed that Christ is truly present, but rejected Catholic explanation. And I don't know much about that. I want to learn more about that. And then John Calvin, he believed in a spiritual real presence. And then you have uh this guy named Zwingli, and he saw it as symbolic or memorial. And that that view uh is what many modern evangelical churches follow, but it was the minority view historically before the Reformation. So the true conclusion is that for about 1,500 years, Christians across the board treated the Eucharist as sacred, real, and mysterious, like the mystery of faith. Very similar in structure and belief to the Catholic and also Orthodox practice. After the Reformation, you get multiple interpretations emerging, and symbolic only views became more common, uh, especially later. And that's kind of what we see today. And guys, this is what drew me in like the Eucharist, Jesus. And when I learned the history about it, I was like, and and just the the just the faith that I had, that childlike faith that I've always had, I and and the Bible and reading it, I was like, this is just so true, the Eucharist. Like I can't ignore this anymore. So yeah, the the Eucharist is in fact what drew me in, and slowly God began working on me. I was very curious and wanted the Eucharist, but then I was just weirded out by some things. I I was totally turned off by other things in the church. Like that I was pretty solid on the Eucharist and the view of the Eucharist. I loved that. But I didn't know what to think about the church authority and the Pope. Uh, and then Mary. I was freaked out by Mary and the statues because I was told this was evil and I didn't quite understand it. That's where I was spiritually. And at the time, my boyfriend Joe and I were going to two churches on Sundays, my non-denominational church and mass. He grew up Catholic, so I supported him and then he supported me. And I know what you guys are thinking. Oh my goodness, you converted for him. No, no, no. If he is my brother in Christ, we are not married yet. If we were to, you know, God forbid, not work out, I would still be pursuing the Catholic Church. So, yes, this does work out better for like when we raise kids, it'll make it like easier just go into one church, but that is not the reason why I converted. Uh, this was a personal conviction. This was something that I needed to do for my relationship with God. But basically, Joe and I, we both just really love Jesus and he never pushed anything on me. And well, one morning we were at mass, and here we go. This is the part that I might get a lot of hate on because I did something that I should not have. I I did confess it though in confession, but I was praying and normally I didn't get up for communion at Mass because you aren't supposed to receive communion at a Catholic Mass if you aren't yet confirmed Catholic. It's a whole process because they have such reverence for Jesus and want to make sure that everyone who receives truly believes it is Jesus. And well, this specific morning I went up to receive the Eucharist because I thought I know Jesus, I know how I view the Eucharist, and who is the church to tell me I cannot receive him? This is the moment I became Catholic. When I consumed the bread and looked up at the crucifix, I knew right away that this is the flesh of my God and that I believed that he was truly present. I touched heaven in that moment. I touched heaven. I don't know how else to describe this unless you've experienced it, but I knew in that moment that whatever problems or things I didn't necessarily like about the Catholic Church didn't matter to me anymore. If it meant I can receive the Eucharist, I will get over people praying, Hail Mary's. Like none of that mattered. It's not like the church service is built to please me, it is to please and worship Jesus. So I started the confirmation process. Here I was, I knew Jesus, I loved him so much, I loved the Eucharist, but I had to submit to the structure and authority of the church and go through the process that they deemed necessary to receive confirmation. And I did not like that at all. I wanted to just boom be Catholic. But I said, no, if I believe in Jesus, I'm going to do this. I will submit to the church that he left us, even though it is not perfect. I am still called to submit. This has always been a difficult lesson for me. Like patience and stubbornness. Oh my goodness, I yeah, not the best. And man, I'm so glad I had to go through that process, that refining. Because I was 1,000% sure of the Eucharist. But the classes gave me so much more peace about the things that I was unsure of. And let me tell you, nothing will transform your experience of the Eucharist like harnessing the power of anticipation. So basically, the church had me go to classes for a little less than a year. Like Joe and I would go to Mass, and then before the Eucharist, he would stay and receive. And then I would uh get called up with the other catechumens, which are the um people pursuing the Catholic faith, and dismiss us to the classes, which is called OCIA. And this is where I learned so, so much. I got my questions answered. I had great instructors, and um oh, through scripture, we learned about like why we have a pope, why we pray to saints, the images, all of it, because I was a skeptic, let me tell you. And it is right there in the Bible. And I wish I wouldn't have been so blind to the Catholic Church for so long. My my only regret is that I didn't find it sooner. My goal now is to just talk about one of the controversial questions that I had, and then we'll move on back to the main thing, um, and then just talk about the scripture that kind of like backs it up because my mind was absolutely blown. And before I start, it is totally okay if we have different interpretations of the scripture. I'm just sharing my experience and what I learned back to the beginning. Like reminding y'all, I believe in ecumenism, which is the unification of all the denominations and coming together and working together. So, kind of the main thing that rubbed me the wrong way was the Pope. And in the Gospel of, well, maybe Mary, maybe the those those had a tie for first place, but now I couldn't love both more. So let's talk about the Pope and the structure of the church. If you open up your Bible to the Gospel of Matthew 16, this is where Jesus hands the keys of the kingdom to Peter, who the Catholic Church believes is the first Pope. Jesus says, I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven. Whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven. So that's not like a casual thing that Jesus is saying. That's like giving him authority. Keys mean governance, and binding and loosing means real spiritual authority. And this is why many Christians, especially in the Catholic Church, see Peter as the first leader of the church. And now here's what's wild. Just a couple chapters later, a little bit later, not too much time has passed, in the Gospel of Matthew 17, Peter is asked if Jesus has to pay the temple tax by like the government, by the authorities. And Peter kind of impulsively says, Yes, he does. Then Peter walks in to the room Jesus is in, and before Peter can even speak, Jesus already knows what happened. Jesus basically says, Who do kings collect taxes from? Their sons or others? And Peter answers from others, meaning Jesus as the son shouldn't have to pay like the temple tax. But then Jesus says something powerful. But so that we do not offend them. And he tells Peter to go ahead and get coin from a fish and then pay the tax. So basically, Peter walks into this room that Jesus is in. Peter walks into the room, Jesus already knowing what happened, says, Peter, do I have to pay the temple tax? And then Peter's like, No, no, no, you you don't. But Jesus is like, Yes, I do. You said it, and now I have to do that because whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven. So even like Jesus, God, recognizes the authority of the church that he is leaving behind for us. He doesn't just give us the Bible, he gives us this church. And here's the point Peter spoke, and even though it wasn't perfect, Jesus honored the decision and followed through. And that lines up with the authority Jesus had just given him. Not because Peter was flawless, he clearly wasn't, but because God works through the authority he establishes. And then this connects back to Matthew 16. He gives Peter the keys, you know, whatever you bind on earth, blah, blah, blah, and then says, the gates of hell shall not prevail against it. And whenever I read that, I was like, he never said the church was going to be perfect and made made up of these perfect people. Peter proves that real quick, but he did promise this hell will not overcome what he builds. So the foundation isn't Peter's perfection, it's Jesus' promise. The authority given wasn't meaningless. It was real, like it had weight, and Jesus himself operated within the structure that he established. So God uses imperfect people, but his structure still stands. And what he builds, hell does not get the final say over it. And it just comes down to leadership. And every church has leadership. I've just decided that I want to put my trust in the leadership of the church Jesus left for us through the apostolic line versus a random pastor on a stage who has more freedom to stray away from scripture. Whereas the Pope is held accountable by several cardinals and bishops. And there's a lot of pastors out there doing some great things. I am not saying that I have anything wrong with that. I went to some great non-denominational churches and definitely improved my life, but they can just kind of say anything. And I feel better and more at peace placing my trust in what God has put in place for authority. I hope that makes sense. So that's just one example I had a big question about, and the scripture that kind of goes along with it. And I can share others too if y'all show interest. Like I was terrified of praying a Hail Mary. And then I learned that it's literally just reciting scripture that is in the Bible, just like our Father. But basically the Eucharist prompted me to learn more about the Catholic Church in the OCIA classes. And the more I asked, the more I read and learned and prayed, the more I learned that things I thought were true about the Catholic Church weren't true at all. And I learned that it is the fullness of the church. Jesus didn't promise an easy life. But for 2,000 years, people have been trying to combine Christianity with an easy life. This is some things that I learned in this book that I was reading, the same one that I was talking about in the last podcast and um quoted above. It's called 33 Days Till Eucharistic Glory. It's pretty dang good. But yeah, for 2,000 years, people have been trying to combine Christianity with an easy life. They are incompatible. Not only did Jesus promise an easy life, he promised the opposite. When Jesus was walking the dusty roads along the northwestern shore of the Sea of Galilee, his listeners struggled to understand and embrace some of his teachings more than others, but none more difficult than the one that we're talking about today and the one that we're exploring, which is the Eucharist. More than any other teaching, it was one that his followers and critics alike struggled to get their hearts and minds around. And nothing has changed since then in this regard. It has been a source of controversy and division ever since. So Jesus said to them, Truly, truly, I say to you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you have no life in you. He who eats my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise him up in the last day. John 6.53. This is a critical moment in Jesus' public life. Then the people then dismuted among themselves, saying, How can this man give us his flesh to eat? John 6.52. We make so many assumptions and we believe our assumptions, but in truth, in most situations, we should question and challenge and test our assumptions because the wrong assumptions make it impossible to reach valid conclusions. It's subtle, but do you see the assumption in the verse just mentioned? It says the people then dispute it among themselves, saying, How can this man give us his flesh to eat? They're operating under the assumption that Jesus is just a man. And that assumption makes it impossible for them to understand what Jesus is saying. Never mind, believe it. The people won't accept who Jesus really is, and so they are incapable of comprehending all that he can do for them. Then we move on to their second reaction, and this reaction is especially relevant today in our culture. John 660 says, Many of his disciples, when they heard it, said, This is a hard saying. Who can listen to it? So they didn't even want to hear it. And this is the attitude of today's culture. And not only in relation to matters of faith, the poverty of mind and spirit has descended so low that this is now the attitude of the culture toward objective truths and scientific and biological realities. Like for thousands of years, a person who refused to acknowledge reality was considered a denialist and mentally ill. Today you can deny reality and then be celebrated as enlightened. If that's not a sign that the culture itself is very sick, then what is? When we are not willing to even listen to the other side of an argument, we dangerously open ourselves up to deception and tyranny of the worst kind. When a culture begins to deny objective reality, it is teetering on the edge of destruction. To understand how far culture has wandered from the gospel, you only need to consider that objective truth cannot be uttered in many situations today. But uh getting back to it, the the people's third reaction to Jesus, the bread of life discourse, was to abandon Jesus. John 6, 66 says, after this, many of his disciples drew back and no longer went about with him. So from the very beginning, the Eucharist has been a lightning rod and a point of contention and division. Regardless of what we have thought before or believed now, let us ask the Lord to open our hearts and minds and souls to a deeper understanding of the Eucharist today and with each passing day for the rest of our lives. We're all hungry for something. Figuring out what we're really hungry for is one of the greatest spiritual quests of life. And let's just be honest for a second. Everyone is operating on faith. People say that it takes faith to believe in God, okay, but it also takes faith to believe in the Big Bang Theory and that everything came from nothing for no reason and no designer. So either way, you're betting your life on something. Like you have to have faith. But here's the difference if I believe in God and I'm wrong, nothing really happens. Just bury me, good to go. And I lived with purpose and discipline and the fruits of the spirit. But if you believe there is no God and you're wrong, you don't just lose a theory. Like you lose everything. And now let's take that same logic and apply it to the Eucharist. For most of Christian history, including the earliest believers, the Eucharist wasn't treated as a symbol, it was approached as something real and sacred and holy, the true presence of Jesus. And that's still what the Catholic Church teaches today. So here's the question: if I believe Jesus is truly present in the Eucharist and I'm wrong, what did I lose? Because I approached it with reverence, I honored it, and I treated it as holy. No loss. But if I treat it as just a symbol and I'm wrong, now I've reduced something sacred. I've handled casually what might actually be the presence of Christ Himself. And scripture even warns us about receiving it in an unworthy or careless way. 1 Corinthians 11. So it's not just about being right. This is not a podcast meant for like apologetics. I'm just again sharing my story. Um for me, it's about what's at stake. So one posture says, I'm going to approach this like it's holy because if it is, that matters. The other says, I'm going to treat it this as symbolic, even if it's more. That like doesn't make sense to me. I have been open-minded and listened and had conversations with people of various beliefs and backgrounds about scripture interpretation. I love having those conversations and I respect everyone's opinions. And this is the conclusion that I have made so far in my life that uh, and this is something I stand firm on more than anything in my life, and it's that the bread and the wine is not just a symbol. And whether you agree with me or not, I just pray that we can always have conversations about important topics like this. And if you believe in God, you also realize that the devil is real, not as powerful as God, but yes, there's good and there's evil. And did you know that when Catholics receive communion, the priest watches you consume it? And if you don't, you will be chased down. This is because just like Catholics, Satanists believe Jesus is truly present. They have an unwavering belief of the realness of the miracle that takes place at Mass. And they try to get consecrated bread and wine to use in a satanic ritual called the Black Mass and to mock Jesus. So I just I just thought that this was wild because how can these, you know, devil worshipers believe in the true presence of Jesus in the Eucharist while many of my like brothers and sisters have never even been educated on what the Eucharist actually is in the scripture that uh, you know, backs it? I at least think that everyone should be educated and have a plan. Because an organization without a strategic plan is likely to massively underperform or fail. The same is true of an individual's spiritual life where there's no plan, progress will be hampered. Here's a really good question for you to ask yourself what is one thing that would change everything? Like constantly think about this question in relation to your spiritual life. What is one thing that would change everything? And the process of preparing to receive the Eucharist for the first time at my confirmation has been a huge paradigm shift in my spiritual life. And it has by far been the most powerful habit that I have done in my life so far. And I can't imagine what the habit of actually getting to receive the Eucharist daily, if not weekly, will have on my life. I received for the first time on my confirmation on Divine Mercy Sunday, which was a week after Easter. And since then I've been to Daily Mass every single day, and I'm not saying, you know, I'm gonna be doing that every day, but I'm just so excited and um I don't want to have like an all or nothing mindset about it, but I love, love what the impact it has had on my life so far. And when I ask myself, what's the one thing that would change everything? It's receiving the Eucharist. If you're a Baptist through and through, it like it might look different, it might be praying every day or fueling your body with whole foods and honoring your temple. For me, the Keystone habit is receiving Jesus in the Eucharist. And as a habit coach and a sister in Christ, I just felt called to share with y'all what Jesus has done for me. There's an agonizing and relatable moment in St. Paul's letter to the Romans where he says, I do not understand my own actions, for I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I do. I can will what is right, but I cannot do it. Romans 7, 15 and 19. Have you ever like felt that struggle? Like I relate to that. Like you're standing in the moment of decision, you know what's good and right. You know it will ultimately like make you happier, you know it's better for you, and yet you find yourself doing that bad habit, anyways, and this can be incredibly frustrating. And the grace of the Eucharist can help with this too. God can help with this. You aren't alone. This happens to everyone more often than we care to admit. We know we should pray instead of watching another episode of TV, but there we are on the couch again, and we know it would be better to eat the salad instead of the cheeseburger. But before we know it, we're ordering a double with fries, and we feel the tug to listen to our children or spouse, but almost without thinking our phone is out and we're checking messages. Jesus diagnoses the problem for us when he says, the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak, which is Matthew 26, 41. We can't escape our bodies and willpower alone isn't enough to overcome every temptation. So we're stuck in this dilemma. But the good news is that Jesus provided a way to conquer these situations, not with our strength, but with his. He offered his own flesh to energize our souls and give us the grace we need to turn from what is bad for us and do what is good. Each time you receive the Eucharist, Jesus gives you extraordinary gifts to help you live the life that you were made for. So today was a little bit of a longer one, but for those interested, I kind of wanted to share my story on my conversion to Catholicism and just kind of um share where I was at spiritually because I coach you guys and I just want you all to know the big things that happened in my life. And thank you guys so much for your constant support. And uh thank you guys for tuning in to this week's episode. Sorry, it's a day late. This one was a little bit longer one to write and just kind of process mentally, like and spiritually in my head. Um, and thank you. Thank you guys so, so much. Let me know, give me ideas for the next podcast. I got some running, but I always love to hear what you guys um want, and I love to incorporate that. So until next time, guys, stay refined.